Tonight's Episode: Let the Culinary Jihad Begin

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING BLOG POST IS FOR A 20 COURSE MEAL. IT MIGHT BE A TAD LONG!!!!
           I'm walking around in a daze. I'm shell-shocked. My world has been broken apart and put back together in a form I don't recognize. I think I have Stockholm Syndrome.  What does hostage psychology have to do with food? When your Chef is a culinary terrorist, everything.
          Moto is the brainchild of Chicago mad scientist Homaro Cantu. With gadgets ranging from a sonic drill that can cut through granite, to a large capacity centrifuge, dinning at Moto is equal parts science experiment and practical joke. Chef Cantu takes his food engineering seriously, at the same time thumbing his nose at all the conventions we have come to expect. The best thing is, he let's you in on the joke as well.
        Moto is located in an old industrial warehouse, across from the Latino meat market. Nondescript exterior hides a modern if minimalistic interior. The atmosphere is swanky and romantic. By the end of the dinner, however, you will be best friends with your neighbors. The shear absurdity of what you are to eat tonight needs to be discussed, right then. Oh, and you'll have plenty of time. The 20 course Grand Tour takes 4 hours. The service is fluid, with at least a half dozen servers with earpieces swapping out duties. The table is simply adorned with a single yellow candle. Bring on the 20 courses!

           The 20 courses to come all have a deft hand, creativity, and whimsy. Only small missteps exist, and the overall effect of many of the dishes are indescribable. So here I go to describe them:
    The Menu:

        Edible menu? Why not? A baked Ciabatta bread menu has the standard menu ($135) and the Grand Tour ($195) printed out for your eating enjoyment. Served with a nicoise salad. Nothing adventurous, and frankly half way through the menu the novelty has worn off. At the same time, you are eating your menu!
       1st course- SNOWman:

          Lemon foam snowman, with Himalayan salt face and buttons. Beneath is ahi tuna. The foam is light and refreshing, and the tuna is top grade. Tuna tartare to the next level.
        2nd Course- ROSEbush:

     A beautiful dish, but also the least successful. The goat cheese salad with the champagne vinaigrette was nice enough, but not exciting. The rose itself is a dehydrated beet. In all honesty it tasted like a crispy piece of beef jerky. Not the most pleasant taste or texture.
      3rd Course- GOLDEN twist ale:

       This is the Wisconsin inspired dish, a wonderful pretzel soup. In the bowl is 4 year aged cheddar, brats, and vegetables. The server also has a bottle of beer. Out comes the opener, and with a crisp snap, the bottle of soup is opened and poured into the bowl. The cheese thankfully comes right through, and the over all taste is a big cheesy pretzel. The sweetness of corn is delightful.
       4th Course- CHICKEN noodle soup:

           Noodles....made from Chicken powder......Genius. The mirepoix is spot on. Then you try the crispy chicken skin....and then words desert you. Genius
         5th Course-MISO soup

       In the bowl is a perfectly seared piece of Hudson Valley foie gras. The portion is a little large and hard to cut through with a spoon, so just take the entire portion in one bite! Also in the bowl are trumpet mushroom cubes and faux foie tofu......yes, tofu made from foie gras! Then comes the miso broth. If apple cider and Iron Chef Morimotto had a love child, this would be it. The apple nose to this broth is strong, sweet, and warming. This dish would be perfect before a few salmon rolls.
        6th Course- POTATO & leek:

         So, through the meal I have been watching a copper pot pouring steam going to the tables around me. Finally my turn to find out what was in the pot. Placed before me was a deconstructed hot vishyssoise with trigger fish and a potato leek puree. The cold element came from the liquid nitrogen frozen cream that was spewing smoke from the pot. Every bite tickles the nose and sends puffs of smoke flying about like a pissed off dragon. I can't help but giggle. I feel 5.
       7th Course- EGG cubed

        That cubed egg in front of you? That is an egg yolk ciabatta bread. With it is a tomato sauce, micro greens, pickled beet, and beautifully salty roe. You had me at egg yolk.
       8th Course- BASEBALL snacks

          If the concession stand at Wrigley Field was run by Dr. Evil, this would be the result. A quail breast chicken nugget with Coca-Cola drizzle, candy apple puree, powdered popcorn, candied peanuts, and an edible Cracker Jack label that tastes like cherries. If you could see the smile on my face while I write this, you would know how great this dish is. Equally great is the story behind the quail. Organic and natural is the name of the game at this farm, raising some of the best quail in the nation. Unfortunately a bug entered the prize-winning stock. Instead of treating with chemicals, the owner stuck to his principles and burnt the entire ranch to the ground. Three years later, he's back to the best organic quail you can find.
       9th Course- CAPON & cornbread

          This may be my favorite dish. A sous vide rooster breast and pulled rooster leg, served with a cornbread puree and a trio of powders; bacon, jalapeno, and coleslaw. Looking at my plate, the server had a puzzled look on his face. "Does that look dry to you?" he asks. Before I can answer, he pulls the saucer from under the candle, puts it on top to snuff the flame. He then pours the wax all over my chicken. That candle that had been merrily flickering for 8 courses was a basil emulsion. The capon was juicy and cooked dead on. The cornbread puree.....tasted like cornbread. The entire dish screams Deep South.
        10th Course- CUBAN cigar

       This is bizarre. In an ash tray in front of me is a cigar, with ashes. The ashes are powdered black and white sesame seeds. The "cigar" is pork shoulder with pickle and mustard, in a crisp bread, wrapped in a collard green. The flame at the end was a red pepper coulis. This dish is wonderful. A play on words, a visual trick, and a damn good Cuban sandwich.
       11th Course- NUAC man

       Here we get a straightforward dish - a Vietnamese style pork belly with mushrooms. The pork was beautiful, though slightly dry. The large mushroom sticking up from the rest is different, though. Here we have a mytaki mushroom that has been roasted, pureed, turned into a foam, dehydrated, formed, and re-fired into a mushroom. A 36 hour process to turn a mushroom into a mushroom. The technique is fun, but in this case it might be a little over the top. Overall, this dish is a slight miss for me.
      12th Course- ALLEY-yum

    Allium is the family of the onion, and on this plate you get a whole lotta onion. In the center is a slice of venison that serves as the vehicle to deliver a cocktail style onion, shallot puree, ramp blossom over pickled onion, a green ramp puree, onion crisp, and fried onions. The venison and shallot puree meld well together. The large onion crisp was at first a little bland, but it really grew on me. My favorite part? The ramp blossom. My first ramp blossom, and it was delicious.
       13th Course- LIGHT bright:

          So, here comes the palate cleanser. In a beaker is a purple liquid and a pipet full of OJ. Squeeze it out, swirl it, and you have an orange dreamsicle. Again, I smile.
    14th Course- CINNAMON toast:

      This is breakfast in a bowl. Little cinnamon toast squares over which they dump a raw egg. Seriously, a raw egg. This is Moto, though, so nothing is as it seems. That egg is a coconut and mango egg. This is yet another fun dish.
       15th Course- RHUBRB & yogurt

      This is a plate of raw rhubarb with nitro-frozen yogurt. The taste of raw rhubarb is probably one of my top five desert flavors, and this does not let me down. Another home run!
          16th Course- GREEN CURY-esque

               I honestly think this should have been the last course. I don't mean stop at 16. I mean this should have been served last. It is a black cardamom cake, mint ice cream, a chocolate gelle, and pineapple. Cardamom is such a wonderful flavor, and the mint was so fresh and cleansing. So amazing.
          17th Course- BANANA split

                This is a sundae, ramen noodle style. A noodle of ice cream with pipets of banana, strawberry, and chocolate. Allow your inner Jackson Pollock to come to the surface.
          18th Course- ACME bomb

           Remember the old Looney Tunes? At some point the poor Coyote would be left holding a little black Acme bomb with the fuse burning down. Here is your chance to experience it, in s'more form. Allow the marshmellow wick to burn down before throwing it into your mouth for a chocolate explosion!  Literally!
       19th Course- COOKIE crumble

               My least favorite dessert. A freeze dried cookie crumble with ice cream and a sauce. To be honest, just not my cup of tea. A well made dessert, just not for me
      20th Course- SODA de jour

          To clean your palate at the end of the meal we have a beaker of mad scientist soda, with an edible packing peanut. Drop it in, swirl, and chug.
         Normally, this is where the dinner ends. Not today. Chef Cantu was kind enough to take me on a tour of the restaurant, the lab, the kitchen, and show off his new system of expediting and running the entire operation. The toys he plays with are cutting edge. The kitchen is organized chaos. The best part, and probably the thing Chef Cantu will be most remembered for, is a new intergrated system for running the entire operation. Unfortunately, I can not tell you too much about it, but I promise you will be seeing everyone using it soon.

           Sitting in my hotel room after the meal, I found it hard to put into words what I had just experienced. The skill, the whimsy, the flavors, the complete and utter dedication to redefining what food can be. I thought long and hard about the title to this piece, and I decided on Jihad for a reason. Homaro Cantu is waging a war against the holy beliefs of traditional cooking. An Iconoclast in every sense of the word, Chef Cantu delights in the destruction of convention, the upheaval of radical change. He may be one man fighting the world, but the world will hear him. I just hope they get the joke.

The Scores:
Ambiance: 5/5
Service: 5/5
Food: 10/10
Value: 1/5
Overall: 21 out of 25. If you are in Chicago, and you have $200 a piece to spend, PLEASE try Moto, with an open mind, and enjoy the ride.
#ForkandTell Chicago

Tonight's Episode: Dr. Sproutlove, or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love Brussels Sprouts

          Admit it, you hate brussels sprouts. I hated them. My dog hated them. I know this because she wouldn't eat mine. I have had a conversion, however. I now LOVE the little green orbs of yuck and have a favorite joint to gobble them up by the bowl full. I'm sure I've lost most of my readers by now, but keep an open mind. Maybe you'll learn to love them, too.
         Let's define why we hate brussels sprouts. As kids, our mothers threw handfuls of the evil mini-cabbages into boiling water and let them cook until mushy. The result was a sulfurous boggy ball that offends multiple senses, with the stench, the bitter taste, and the gummy texture. The overcooking releases a glucosinolate that provides the bitter taste and smell. The overcooking has another unintended side effect, stripping the sprouts of their anti-cancer properties. That's right. Brussels sprouts help prevent cancer. They also help you become super-human strong. Remember Jean-Claude van Damme? Most people mistakenly think he was called "The Muscles from Brussels" because he was Belgian. Nope, the man ate sprouts like Popeye in a bar fight.
           So how did I go from cursing my ungrateful dog for not destroying the evidence to being a die-hard sprouthead? The first taste of a good sprout came from the cookbook of my least favorite TV food personality, Ina Garten (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/roasted-brussels-sprouts-recipe2/index.html). At the bottom of the recipe she says "I like these salty like French Fries." That caught my attention, and I decided to cook them up. Belissimo! From her recipe I expanded, first by quartering the sprouts to brown more completely, to adding bacon and a balsamic drizzle. Salt is a must though, plenty of Kosher salt. There are several other sprout recipes that I have found that I truly enjoy, including Alton Brown's (http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/brussels-sprouts-with-pecans-and-cranberries-recipe/index.html) and even Brussels sprout soup! (http://www.squidoo.com/brussels-sprouts)
            Okay, we have home cooked sprouts down, how about restaurants? There are a couple of fine dining spots that have pretty darn good sprouts. Oak would be one, of course (http://www.oaksteakhouserestaurant.com/index.html). They don't have the best, though. For my money the best Brussels sprouts belong to a chain restaurant. That's right, a chain; although it is a local chain. Tbonz (http://www.tbonz.com/), whose sister restaurants include Pearlz and Kaminsky's, has been around for years. I, however, have never been much of a fan. That would be courtesy of the Market Street location, which is priced perfectly to draw in the tourists by the busload. So for several years, Tbonz has been on my 'why bother' list.
            That all changed when I received a coupon this past December. Being the thrifty Scot I am, I grabbed The Girl, and off to the West Ashley location we went. I'm not going to go in depth about most of the food. The steaks are on par with Outback, and well ahead of Applebee's. Good, filling, inexpensive. The rack of ribs are Titanic in scale, and priced on par with the much smaller portions at Chili's. None of that matters. None of that is why I come back. I come back for the service and the Brussels sprouts.
           The preparation of the sprouts is amazingly simple. Halved, flash fried for 30-45 seconds with parmesan cheese and Old Bay, and on the plate. THAT IS IT! Boy does it taste like more work. The nutty parmesan and the slight bitter of the sprouts blend seamlessly. The Old Bay is subtle, so much that until you know it is there you can't place the taste. Once you realize that fact, you realize these aren't Brussels sprouts, they are Crab sprouts! The similarities in taste to Maryland blue crabs is uncanny. This one dish is a must have for anyone who loves, or hates, these much maligned veggies.
         Every other week for several months we have been stopping in, mostly so I could have sprouts. Then on Easter Sunday, the 6th Day of Passover, our waiter Ben nearly ruined my world. He told me that they were planning on taking the Brussels sprouts off the menu. I know they are a winter veg, and in spring and summer they can be much smaller, but they are so damn good! Apparently my shock was so visible that Ben went to his GM, Rob, and told him about my dismay.
             I want to stress the fact that at this time no one knew who I was, or that I write this blog. To Rob I was just one more face that passes through his restaurant, one of hundreds he sees every week. He asked me if it was true that the sprouts were the reason I keep coming back. 'Of course they are, they are perfect!' I tell him. His next sentence won me over as a customer for life. "Well, I guess we will just have to keep them on the menu then." One person wanted to keep them. One person he has never met. One person who might never tell another soul about the generous move on his part. Can you imagine the GM at Outback doing this? Tbonz may be a chain, but it is a local one, with a local focus, and a real focus on the guest experience!
            So there you have it. In one post I have been able to show you that my outlook on a childhood arch-nemisis and a poorly thought of restaurant have changed over the course of time, with the help of proper preparation and great service. What other foods and restaurants have I ignored all these years that might actually be good? How about you, what are you going back and trying again?

Tbonz The Scores:
Ambiance: 2/5
Service: 5/5
Food: 7/10
Value: 5/5
Overall: 19 out of 25, If you are looking for an inexpensive but good tasting steak, check out Tbonz, and their Brussels Sprouts!

Tonight's Episode: Don't Worry, Eat Chorizo

         Tune into the Travel Channel or Food Network, and if you're lucky, they might have a trip to Charleston for you to enjoy. It doesn't matter what show, what host, what schtick they are doing, there is one stop that seems inevitable. At some point the host will be in front of that venerable restaurant on the corner of Rutledge and Cannon, Hominy Grill. Just once I would love it if that celeb chef, home grown cook, or whatever vacuum headed mouth-piece with a microphone is talking would take the time to turn around and point the camera at the old filling station across the street. Inside is the Caribbean inspired restaurant known as Fuel Cantina.
         The 50's era fueling station facade is complimented inside with a blend of classic filling station signage and equipment. The space itself is small but has a large outside area. Depending on the time of day you arrive, the bar/dining area can be VERY loud, so don't expect a quiet evening.
        

          For starters we began with the anguillan beef kabobs ($6.50). These turned out to be three medium sized tenders of beautifully grilled beef, served with a cilantro mojo. While I would have loved a spicy sauce to go with the kabobs, they were very satisfying. As a second app, we went with the chips and queso carne ($6.50), which is a blend of fried and grilled soft tortillas with a house made chorizo queso. While the flavor was fantastic and the grilled soft tortillas especially so, the portion size is rather small considering the price.

         For a main The Girl decided on the BBQ buffalo burger ($13.95) with grilled bison, a mango ketchup, and french fries. I went another direction, choosing the House made chorizo burger ($13.95) with green chili horseradish aioli, smoked tomato ketchup, and shoestring potatoes, served with plantain fritters. Her burger was juicy and smoky, the mango ketchup adding just the right hint of sweetness. The chorizo burger was a damn good burger. The fat and hint of spice just give you an incredible mouthful, bite after bite. The size and heft of these burgers lessen the pain of the price tag and leave you feeling full. Not too full for those plantain fritters, though. Those were heavenly, especially the end bits. These are halved plantains deep fried to give a nice crunch with their banana like sweetness. I could polish off an entire plate in three minutes flat.

              The other reason I like Fuel as much as I do is the outdoor patio area. Come in, order a mojito, and enjoy a beautiful outdoor area. The crowd you will find there is very reflective of a transitional area, college kids and older families, all enjoying service from a young and energetic staff.
             I wouldn't say everything is perfect at Fuel. The service, while friendly, can be slow. If you come in too late at night, especially on the weekend, the place will be filled with college kids - loud, drunk college kids. I can not stress enough that inside can be VERY loud. The final complaint would be the rather limited parking. I have a great secret fix for that, but I can't tell you. Wouldn't be a secret anymore.
           Overall I have to say I have enjoyed my trips to Fuel. The relaxed atmosphere, good drinks, and great food more than compensate for any negatives. As the days get warmer, why not consider a trip to the Caribbean?

The Scores:
Ambiance: 2/5
Service: 3/5
Food: 8/10
Value: 3/5
Overal: 16 out of 25, An excellent taste of the Caribbean at import prices.

Tonight's Episode: May I have the pork, with a side of pork

           There are some restaurants that seem to exist outside of time. Walking through the door takes you back decades, often to a simpler time. When you share a common history, the simple act of picking up a fork may take your emotions on a wild ride through time and space. For some it dredges up fond memories of work on the weekends for cash, large tables of friends and family, and a view of the world outside that you would be entering someday soon. For others, it might force you to remember the reasons you wanted to leave home as fast as possible. Time may mellow some feelings or sharpen others to a razor's edge, but the restaurant doesn't care. Sometimes you have to bury your feelings, pick up a plate, and go back in time.
          The Girl, her parents, and yours truly decided to take our dinner out in Ridgeville at the restaurant that was once the symbol of why I wanted to leave the South. Duke's BBQ has always seemed to have been there.  Situated just across the railroad tracks in a town slowly fading out of existence, Duke's still draws the weekend crowd from miles in every direction. This is the classic cafeteria style BBQ joint that at one time was in every town in the state. In the fall, expect to be sitting shoulder to shoulder with friends you've never met debating which local high school has the best shot at the state title. I'm almost certain every movie set in a small southern town has a scene filmed at Duke's.
        Well, that's two paragraphs, and we haven't even walked through the door. I warned you I had mixed feelings about eating here. You step through the door and the inside is almost as shabby and depressing as Ridgeville itself. Everything seems to be a shade of yellow. The walls are some kind of yellow. The table is some kind of yellow. The tea urns that are as old as my soon to be in-laws are some kind of yellow.  I wouldn't fault you for turning around and walking out at this point. Only when you look close do you see past the depressing and see the resilience of the South. There is a smile on everyone's face. A wave and a head nod quickly turn into handshakes and hugs. Simple tasks are conquered with a whistle and a song. Time may have passed Duke's by, but that doesn't mean you can't stop and smell the hash.
         That hash is the first thing to hit your nose. Not the pulled pork, not the fried chicken. The liquid BBQ just hangs in the air. As you get closer to the self-serve bar, you see more of the classics. Pulled pork, BBQ beans, rice for your hash, fried corn bites, hush puppies, and a range of veggies from rutabega to green beans. Remember, your $7.50 is for all you can eat; you don't have to load up on your first trip.

         After you fill your plate, you have three choices in beverage: sweet tea, unsweet tea, and something pink. (The Girl assures me it's pink lemonade.) Pull the 30 year old tap on some sweet tea and pray that all that sugar killed anything that might be growing in there. Next to the drink station are three pumps and a bottle of sauce. The bottle is a spicy vinegar that I love. In the pumps are Red, Sweet Red, and the evil God-awful mustard based sauce. I'm not sure if mustard sauce or Mark Sanford make me more embarrassed to be a South Carolinian. I prefer a mixture of the vinegar and Red.

       Sitting down at a table with my first styrofoam plate full, I begin to plan my attack. The colors meld together into a brownish-yellow blob, but the smell is heavenly. Starting with the BBQ beans, they are rich and hearty with a nice smoke note. The rice and hash are liquid gold, again with a smoky note but also a rich pork flavor. The pulled pork itself is good, though I have had better. The lack of burnt ends (the outside edge of the pig that gets nice and crispy in the smoker) is a letdown. The real star of my first plate are the hush puppies. These little nuggets are fried wonderfully crisp without being greasy. The same can not be said about the fried chicken. Mr. Robert is normally on the cast iron pan manning the chicken. Tonight, he wasn't, and it was obvious. Unseasoned and greasy, overall just not that pleasant. After a second plate, I turned to the banana pudding with nilla wafers. Oh, that is delicious.
           Relaxing after the meal I look around me. Duke's hasn't changed at all in the more than a decade since The Girl took me there on one of our first dates. So much about who I am and what I believe has changed, evolved, grown. I thought coming back I would look down on the simplistic food in the run down restaurant. Sitting there, staring at my last bite of pudding, I'm glad I came back. Authentic food from an America that is slowly dying. Go while you still can.

The Scores:
Ambiance: 2/5
Service: 3/5
Food: 6/10
Value: 5/5
Overall: 15 out of 25, This is a little taste of classic America that you won't be seeing for much longer.
        

Tonight's Episode: Coleman, party of ten!

            Sunday mornings in Charleston can be summed up in two words: bottomless mimosas! I have counted no less than a dozen restaurants offering this brunch special. Our house guest for the weekend, Kentucky Fried Muffy, decided to organize an outing to one such downtown location. That is how we found ourselves at Toast, ten strong, drinking mimosas on the sidewalk while waiting for a table.
           My first piece of advice is not to show up with 10 people. If for some reason that isn't an option, try to avoid the South Eastern Wildlife Expo as the weekend you bring the aforementioned 10 people. Toast is far from a spacious setting, though the hour and a half wait was made bearable with flowing mimosas. The restaurant itself is very home kitchen in style, very welcoming, and staffed by incredibly friendly waitresses. This welcoming atmosphere helps when our party of ten becomes two tables of five.
            To keep this post from stretching on a week, I'll focus on four dishes. First up is The Girl's sorority Big Sister, Army Wives Season 3. She went with the build your own omelet with home fries and a biscuit ($9.00). With your choice of three toppings, this massive fluffy pillow of an omelet is both light and filling at the same time. The home fries are some of the best I've ever had, crisp without being over cooked, and without any mush.

            Another friend, the Svelte Fox himself, stole my original order and went with the Philly Breakfast Sandwich with home fries ($7.99). Served on thick cut toast, this is what Rocky eats for breakfast when he is tired of raw eggs. Steak, scrambled eggs, and cheese give you the type of hearty sandwich that you would never see at the Golden Arches. The steak is well seasoned and juicy, and the eggs are a beautiful soft scrambled. I am craving one as I write this.

               The Girl, who has no voice and is communicating solely through text message, settles in on the Traditional French Toast, served with your choice of bacon, sausage, or country ham ($6.50).  This plate is a good size if your only somewhat hungry, though after an hour and a half wait I found it a little lacking. Two pieces of toast and one large sausage sit on the sugar dusted plate. The french toast was very tasty, and the sausage was mild and satisfying. I just wish there was more of it.

                

                    After loosing out on the Philly Sandwich, I quickly settled in on the most expensive item on the menu, the Eggs Meeting Street ($8.99 for the single, $11.99 for the double).  This tower of southern breakfast charm starts with a foundation of two fried green tomatoes, each topped by a crab cake, a poached egg, and Lowcountry remoulade sauce. The fried green tomato is crisp with a touch of pepper spice and beautifully green. The crab cake, as with most in South Carolina, is made of shredded crab and a lot of breading. Even though I hesitate to call these crab cakes (my position on lump versus shredded crab is well known), they are still rather tasty. The poached egg is what brings this dish together. Nothing says love like a runny yolk. The Lowcountry remoulade was nice, though over reduced and slightly salty.

        Toast is a wonderful Brunch destination, if you remember to leave the baseball team at home. The menu has some great diversity and is filled with fresh wonderful food. Looking though the lunch and dinner menu, I think we will have to come back soon. Who knows, maybe The Girl will be able to order for herself next time.

The Scores:
Ambiance: 4/5
Service: 4/5
Food: 8/10
Value: 5/5
Overall: 21 out of 25 A wonderful brunch destination with $10 bottomless mimosas, what else would you do with your Sunday Morning?